top of page

Quest for Alpine Justice: Heidelberg’s Appeal Against League Disqualification.

Updated: Jan 27


Arbitration Hearing January 8th visualized.
Arbitration Hearing January 8th visualized.

The Heidelberg Cubist Society’s appeal against disqualification was heard during the arbitration on January 8th, 2025—here are key excerpts from the protocol.


Date: January 8, 2025

Time: 1000–1230 ZULU

Location: IN-N-OUT-Oberhofstübli, Grüsch Danusa, Switzerland

Patronage: Dedicated Institute for Cubistic Expression (D.I.C.E)


Minutes of the Hearing


1000 ZULU

Call to Order: The arbitration panel, chaired by Mr. Gus Schwartz from the Dedicated Institute for Cubistic Expression (D.I.C.E), opens the session with the ceremonial dice roll to symbolize impartiality. The roll lands on six, drawing murmurs from the audience—an auspicious sign in Alpine Dice culture.


1003 ZULU

Opening plea by Tristan Uhse, counsel for the Heidelberg Cubist Society. Uhse rises with the calm confidence of a seasoned advocate. His plaid tie—a subtle homage to the Cubist ethos—catches the morning light. He begins with a measured yet passionate statement: “Honorable members of this arbitration panel, today we stand not only for justice but for the very essence of what Alpine Dicemanship represents: a celebration of art, precision, and unity at any elevation. ”Uhse lays out the Heidelberg Cubist Society’s case, emphasizing their historical contributions, competitive merit, and unique cultural value to the league as well as Merchandise Sales records.


1010 ZULU

Opening Monologue by Mr. Oscar Marie Habitué-Bertelsmann, Chair of GADA, by his side Rev. Timothy Gatsby, Chair of WADL. Habitué-Bertelsmann’s tone is formal and deliberate, reflecting his reputation as a stickler for rules. He begins by framing the issue in bureaucratic terms: “The matter before us today is not one of sentiment, but of statutes. The World Alpine Dice League is governed by clear, measurable standards, and elevation is one of its cornerstones.” He defends the league’s decision to disqualify Heidelberg, citing the bylaws that stipulate a minimum base altitude of 1,000 meters above sea level for participating teams. Timothy Gatsby appeared disengaged and inattentive throughout the entire argument.


1018 ZULU

Welcome Address by Mr. Sepp Ringli, newly confirmed President of the Alpine Dice Referees Association (ADRA).

Sepp Ringli stands, adjusting his bright yellow bubble jacket, which matches the ADRA emblem pinned proudly to his lapel. His words are warm but carry the weight of his new office.

“As the newly elected president of the Alpine Dice Referees Association, I take this opportunity to emphasize the importance of fairness, transparency, and inclusivity in our league. The rules exist not to exclude but to preserve the integrity of our sport.”

He concludes with a hopeful tone: “Let us work together to ensure that decisions made here reflect the spirit of Alpine Dice, where every roll counts.”


1025 ZULU

Presentation of Evidence by Heidelberg Cubist Society

Introduction of Character witnesses.

Historical Documents: The society unveils a collection of handwritten charters, membership rolls, and competition records. The arbitration panel examines the fragile pages with reverence.Performance Metrics: A detailed report shows that Heidelberg’s dice rolls remain consistent across varying altitudes, even under simulated Alpine conditions.


1045 ZULU

First Break: Panel members call for a 15-minute recess to review the submitted materials. Coffee and pastries are served, with speculation among attendees that the Heidelberger Streuselkuchen on the refreshment table was a deliberate nod to the Cubist Society's heritage.


1100 ZULU

Bureaucratic Interlude:

Till Krautkrämer, the Cubist Society’s designer and craftsman, presents brand new set of custom dice: The handcrafted dice, inspired by Cubist aesthetics, draw audible admiration from the room. A vague procedural issue arises regarding the respective certification of instrument measurement requirements by Heidelberg. Mr. Cornelius “Mo” Cunningham (NDA) questions whether the measurement instruments used were certified by the World Dice Calibration Institute (WDCI). The issue is swiftly tabled after Till Krautkrämer produces a notarized affidavit from the WDCI confirming their compliance.


1115 ZULU

Cross-Examination of Jules Buñuel

Panel members question Heidelberg’s representative about their training facilities. Buñuel defends their altitude as “representative of the alpine spirit,” earning a nod from Mr. Obada Alsyah of the Asian Dice Confederation.

During this particularly technical exchange, Mr. Francesco Pinata—representing CONMEMBOS and attending via remote satellite—can audibly be heard snoring. His microphone remains on for several seconds, drawing amused glances from the room before the connection was muted by a moderator to stifle his snoring, a sudden commotion erupted when an unidentified voice declared, “If they expel Heidelberg, who else will they try to expel next? This controversy will not stand! Rebel League!” Gus Schwartz (D.I.C.E) immediately stood and called the room to order, his commanding tone cutting through the rising murmurs like a diamond through glass: “Ladies and gentlemen, quit your Jibba Jabba this hearing will proceed without disruption!”


1140 ZULU

Closing Remarks by GADA

Habitué-Bertelsmann reiterates that rules must be upheld to maintain the league’s integrity. “While we respect Heidelberg’s legacy, we must honor the principles that bind us as a community of competitors.”

1155 ZULU

Final Statement by Gus Schwartz (D.I.C.E), Schwartz delivers a stirring conclusion:

“The Heidelberg Cubist Society embodies the creative and competitive spirit of Alpine Dice. Excluding them not only disregards their merit but risks reducing our league to a mere technicality. Let us roll the dice not in fear of failure, but in celebration of possibility.


1200 ZULU

Deliberations Begin: The panel retreats for 30 minutes to deliberate.


1230 ZULU

Adjournment: The hearing is adjourned, with the panel promising a written decision within 93 (NINETYTHREE) days.


Parties Present, virtual (vt) and physical (ph):

(ph) Gus Schwartz/ Dedicated Institute for Cubistic Expression (D.I.C.E)

(ph) Oscar Marie Habitué–Bertelsmann /Global Alpine Diceman Alliance(GADA)

(vt) Timothy Gatsby / World Alpine Dice League (WADL)

(ph) Cornelius ”Mo” Cunningham / National Dice Association (NDA)

(ph) Dianelle Patel / Union of European Alpine Diceman Associations (UEADA)

(vt) Neil van Dutch / Confédération des Cubistes Africains (CCA)

(vt) Francesco Pinata -CONfederación sudaMEricana de cuBOS (CONMEBOS).

(vt) Pablo Pavoréal / Confederation of North, Central America and Caribbean Association of Dice(FONCACAD)

(ph) Mr. Obada Alsyah / Asian Dice Confederation (ADC)

(ph) André Arnold / World Alpine Dice Players Union (WADPU)

(ph) Mr. Sepp Ringli / Alpine Dice Referees Association (ADRA)


Representing the Heidelberg Cubist Society:

(ph)Tristan Uhse

(ph)Till Krautkrämer

(ph)Timothy Gatsby

(ph)Jules Buñuel

(ph)Vito Mondgang

(ph)Mingul Mondgang

(vt)Thomas Taylor

(vt) Werner Pavlic

(ph) Jokai Fetzner


75 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Kommentarer


bottom of page